How to Help Your Teen Navigate Modern Antisemitism

The Colleyville, Texas attack is a tragic reminder that hate still lives amongst our community, and it can especially be upsetting for our teens. However, antisemitism doesn’t always show up as bluntly as it did at Congregation Beth Israel; today, it can appear in many forms, including your teen’s school, neighborhood, social media, and sports teams. Many teens are unprepared for how to identify or combat it, and it’s our responsibility as parents, educators, and community leaders to provide resources to guide them through it

Together, you and your family can identify ways to make a difference in your teen’s circles–both online and offline. Here are some ways we suggest you get started. 

How Can My Teen Identify Modern Antisemitism?

Social media and recent politics seem to intensify antisemitism and how it appears in our daily lives. It’s no question that many people are using these platforms to push their own hateful agenda and ideals, and sadly, the Jewish people are often a scapegoat for societal conditions.  

Your teen may encounter antisemitism in a variety of forms, including:

  • Swastikas or other hate symbols appearing on or near belongings or public property
  • References to KKK or other hate groups
  • Antisemitic comments on social media
  • Antisemetic Instagram or TikTok accounts with hate-filled content
  • Ignorant or uninformed passing comments by peers
  • Being singled out or ostracized for being Jewish 
  • Jokes about Jewish people, stereotypes or tradition

The first step is to talk to your teen about these identifiers and see if they have any questions about how it could be appearing in their lives. Creating an open dialogue and a comfortable space for your teen to ask questions and share their experiences is crucial in this process, and this is a great place to start. 

Standing Up to Antisemitism

Teens have the power to help other teens learn and grow. Confronting a hurtful or mean remark early on may help individuals understand the harm of their words.

If the comments or actions of others cause your teen to become uncomfortable with his or her Jewish identity, or make them feel unsafe, then the issue should be addressed immediately. 

Standing up to or starting a conversation about antisemitism isn’t easy–but it is often necessary. Unfortunately, there isn’t a single response to antisemitism that will apply to every situation. 

Here are four keys to successfully reacting to antisemitism:

Be Prepared

The best way to make a good decision in a bad or emotionally charged situation is to practice your responses before something happens. You and your teen together can troubleshoot ways to handle it by role-playing or talking your teen through scenarios where it may be beneficial to start a conversation with an individual using hateful language.

Assess the Situation

Before confronting an individual, your teen should know a few things to decide how to proceed. This includes determining:

  • How close you are to this person–friend, teammate, acquaintance, stranger, etc.
  • The intention of the comment or action–hurtful, offensive, or made out of ignorance
  • The individual’s mood/demeanor
  • The emotions you teen is feeling
  • If the environment is safe and you could seek help if necessary

Calmly Choose Your Response

Based on the quick assessment and practiced responses, your teen should have a good idea of how to proceed. 

Remind your teen that if strong emotions are involved (from either party), it would be wise to have a cooling-off period before talking with the individual. Anger, frustration, and resentment are powerful emotions. When they take over our core, it’s nearly impossible to remain calm and rational. 

Sometimes addressing an antisemitic comment can be easy as saying, “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but what you just said hurts.” This comment works two ways–you send an important message about the power of words without shaming the individual.

Other times, standing up to antisemitism isn’t as easy. And, sadly, some people won’t change no matter what is said. While they have a right to their opinion, they do not have the right to make others feel bad about who they are.

Talk to an Adult

If your teen feels unsafe because of someone’s actions, explain the importance of involving an adult like a parent, teacher, coach, or another community leader.

Opening up to an adult may be difficult for some teens. Many believe they are old enough to handle things on their own. Others don’t know how to articulate what they are feeling. Some teens don’t want to get their parents involved at all.

As a parent, your teen’s lack of communication may be frustrating. You know something is wrong, but your teen is distant or avoids specific topics. 

Provide a non-judgmental, open atmosphere where your teen feels safe to talk. Some teens may benefit from counseling to help work through the sadness, anxiety, or other difficult emotions from being targeted by antisemitic behavior. 

If you need more guidance and information about talking to your teen, this handout from Words to Action is an excellent resource for addressing antisemitism. 

Being Proactive in Stopping Antisemitism 

It’s encouraging to see many young people embracing social justice and equality for all. Thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever for them to stay connected, organize events, and form tight-knit communities–both online and in-person.

Families who want to get support in addressing and challenging anti-sematism can visit the  ADL resource page. Here you can find tools for talking with teens, taking action online and offline, and connecting with local groups that are exposing extremism, delivering anti-bias education and fighting hate online.

If your teen is in college, ReportCampusHate.org, is a portal to report antisemitic incidents on North American college campuses. Submissions can be anonymous, but providing contact information helps the organization assist the victim and provide support. 

JBridge is also here to promote activities and clubs that work towards social justice and standing up to antisemitism, so be sure to follow us on your favorite social media platform.

3 Goals to Prioritize With Your Teen in 2022

When we think of some of the more common and popular New Year’s resolutions that seem to be promoted in mainstream media, they may seem a bit shallow, vague, or out of reach. 

Look better, be more productive, work harder, be happier!

And yet, unfortunately for most people, these resolutions are forgotten a week or so into the new year. This can be especially discouraging for teens.

Instead of setting unclear, unattainable resolutions, we suggest using the spirit of a new year as the foundation for a better future for your and your family. How? Discuss with your teen the importance of setting healthy, fulfilling goals that are sustainable. Talk about how small changes now can lead to big differences in their personal, social, and emerging professional lives.

Here are some goals you and your teen can work on together for a happier, healthier new year. 

Get Better Sleep

It should be no surprise that growing teen bodies require a higher quality sleep. Just about every part of the body experiences changes during sleep, and the brain and body slow down so that powerful healing, recovery, and rejuvenation can takes place. 

According to John Hopkins Medicine, teens need about 9 to 9 ½ hours of sleep a night. This is actually more sleep than grade school children need! As teens enter a new stage of cognitive maturation, the extra sleep helps support their developing brains. 

The holiday break probably disrupted sleep patterns in a lot of ways – no school, holiday parties, visiting family, and less restrictive bed times are some of the common culprits. But as we begin the new year, it’s important to get back (or start) a routine that will ensure your teen is getting enough quality sleep.

Getting started is easy: Simply start by having an open conversation with your teen about the importance of sleep and how it will positively impact their moods, energy, and emotional and mental wellbeing. 

Next, help them create ground rules and routines that feel challenging yet doable. Set a time to unplug from electronics. Then dim the lights, lower the temperature in the house by a couple degrees, and create a relaxing atmosphere that they can settle into. It’s also an excellent time to meditate and reflect on the day (more on this in a moment).

While it’s not always easy with teens, be firm with the bedtime and don’t allow any tech into the bedrooms if it can be avoided. As with most changes, there will be resistance…we’re talking about a teenager, after all. Be patient and calm as the routine is being established. Don’t get into a power struggle right before bed where both of you will be too wound up to fall asleep.

Instead of being a constant authoritarian, get your teen to see the benefits of this new routine. Ask if there are any changes in concentration, energy, or mood throughout the day. Check in with your teen each morning and track how this experience is going for them.
 

Self-Reflection by Meditating & Journaling

Encourage your teen to spend some time each day in quiet self-reflection. In the moments of meditation and/or journaling, your teen begins a deeper dive into self-discovery. Slowly, it becomes an opportunity for understanding how the outer and inner worlds are affecting thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

These bits of self-discovery and understanding can have a huge impact on emotional intelligence, self-esteem, and deepening the spiritual connection.

In a world filled with distractions, however, encouraging your teen to spend some quiet time with her own thoughts can be a challenge. Meditation takes patience and practice. Sitting quietly and observing thoughts can be overwhelming initially. 

Here’s some good news…there’s no right way to meditate or journal. And there are so many resources out there to make both of these activities easier to learn and practice. Encourage your teen to try different types of meditation or use journaling prompts.

Starting small is also helpful. Set a goal for your teen to choose 5 minutes of either meditating or journaling each day. Slowly build from there.

Working self-reflection into the evening routine is a great way to establish two great habits at once. The calming effects of meditation can help your teen fall asleep faster, and journaling enables your teen to take thoughts out of the mind and putting them elsewhere, which may decrease worry and stress at bedtime.

Give Back to the Community  

Being well-rested and more self-aware is a great start! But there is a power in being a part of something bigger than yourself and developing a deeper connection to your community. 

Volunteering and community service are beneficial for teens on so many levels. Not only are they helping those in need, but they also get to see firsthand how their actions can impact others. It is also an opportunity to change perspectives, develop interpersonal skills, and interact positively with peers. 

Plus, it looks great on a resume or college application, of course!

Encourage your teen to join a group or community service project that aligns with his interests. For example, if your teen loves to read, you two could explore opportunities to become a reading tutor.

Luckily, there are many great community service projects in the area. We have a list that we keep updated on our Volunteer Page

Making the Goals Stick

You’re probably imagining your teen rolling her eyes as you mention these goals. 

Sit quietly? Unplug from my device? Go and do what now?

Change isn’t easy. It’s not like flicking on a light switch. Start small. Plant some seeds. Set a goal your teen will enjoy accomplishing. Reward the accomplishment. Build from there. 

Remember: At this point in life, your teen is developing an identity. Avoid lecturing or preaching to your child. Present information in ways your teen can arrive at his own conclusions and feel empowered to take on these goals themselves. 

With a little patience, creativity, and nurturing, it’s certainly possible for your teen to be enjoying the rewards of these goals throughout the year. 

Now go enjoy enjoy your 2022!

Exploring Jewish Identity through the College Transition

When I was getting ready to go to college, I had a hard time imagining how Judaism would fit into my new life. I had always viewed religion as something that connected me to my family. Looking ahead to what it would mean to be a Jewish woman on a college campus felt overwhelming and frightening.

Without parents or siblings around to be a part of my religious experience, I needed to learn what Judaism meant to me. By the first Friday of school, I had my answer: Judaism is really important. The transition to college was made easier when I found Jewish community on my campus. A few of my biggest takeaways were that I needed to stop being scared of turning into my parents, or not finding friends, and instead focus on being my most authentic self. When I reached out first to Hillel and then to Chabad, I felt welcomed and found my home away from home.

Religion is a Powerful Tool for Connection

In my first few months on campus, I ended up getting involved with Hillel and Chabad. At Hillel, students play games, attend services, and eat dinner together. The egalitarian nature of Hillel makes it easy for teens of all genders to pray and sing together.

My second Friday away from home, I went to Hillel and met a bunch of upperclassmen who invited me to sit with them. They told me funny stories about our chancellor and gave me extra dessert.

At Chabad, students develop close relationships not only with one another, but also the Rabbi and his spouse. I once stayed with a friend at the Rabbi’s house and we debated about the two stories of creation until eleven at night.

Oftentimes, Chabad houses can create a family-like ambience for students away from home. At Chabad, students get a chance to do activities like cook and eat dinner with peers, and even hold the Rabbi’s baby. 

Friday Nights Lead to Friend Groups

By attending Friday night dinners consistently, I was able to make a close friend group through spending time with fellow Jewish teens and young adults. I would have onegs with my friends after dinner. We sang off-key songs and played board games. 

In the first year of college, I, like many teens, was still figuring who I wanted to be friends with. While my friend groups changed and adapted throughout the first few months on campus, I’m still friends with the group of friends I made through Chabad and Hillel. Friendships forged in religious spaces tend to stand the test of time.

Teens Learn a Personal Level of Commitment

When I was in high school, my parents had to bribe, threaten, and otherwise convince me to attend Friday night services. I was tired from a long week at school and every time my parents tried to tell me what I should do, I was filled with this angsty teenage feeling that, “they didn’t understand me.” Spoiler alert: they absolutely did. I was not a complicated person.

A lot of parents worry that their children will leave Judaism behind the moment they step foot on a college campus. 

There is another reason some parents are concerned: many campuses do have some organisations that use anti-Israel and anti-Semitic rhetoric. 

The truth; however, is that college is a wonderful time to develop a personal sense of belonging to one’s religion. 

I have a close friend who was aggressively secular in high school. She tells me that she used to make fun of her parents for believing in God. Now, she’s one of the leaders of Chabad on campus. 

Not every teen will stay as involved in Jewish life during college as they were in high school. Some teens will be less involved. Some teens will be more involved with religious life. 

College is a Time for Growth

The transition to college is scary for parents and teenagers alike. It’s a big step teens make toward beginning adulthood. A great practice parents can begin to keep Judaism in the lives of their teens is to bless them every Friday night. My parents have never missed a Friday, and I now have a reason to talk to them every week when I’m away from home. 

Give your teen blessings and trust. Don’t tell your child how to be Jewish. Give them support and resources if they ask. Give them your unconditional love because they’ll need it, especially in that first year.

Most of all, have faith in your children and in yourself. College is when a lot of teens learn how much Judaism means to them, and they keep those feelings for the rest of their life. When your teen comes home for winter break, you might be surprised. Maybe they’ll want to go to services or even just light Shabbat candles. 

And as a parent, you get to watch your child grow up. You can remember the face they made when they ate their first matzo ball, watch them learn the same recipes you learned, take the same steps you took, and ultimately, discover what Judaism means to them as an adult.

Maytal Booth is the 2021 Federation Teen Initiative Intern and a current undergraduate student at Vanderbilt University. Maytal sang the Shema before she learned the alphabet song and spent most of her childhood running around Congregation Kol Emeth. As the author of “Dear the Man Upstairs” and a lover of history, Maytal believes that Judaism’s written and oral traditions are key to the continuing success of the religion, and that story-telling and debates are how teens, families, and adults build community.

Redefining Engagement through the Lens of Five Types of Teens

Throughout the Jewish community, we hear one question time and time again: “How can we engage more teens?” Jewish institutions say: “We want to increase teen participation numbers,” while parents ask: “I want my teen to have a connection to Judaism, how can I make them more engaged?” Even teen leaders are thinking about how they can entice more of their peers to attend the youth group events they’ve planned. 

While there are many ways to explore engagement, it’s important to start by examining the questions we are asking and goals we are working towards. When we say the word “engaged,” what do we really mean? Are we counting participation numbers for the sake of doing so, or are we focused on our teens as individuals? How can we change the way we think about engagement and participation so that it centers on each teen’s individual wellbeing and sense of belonging? 

Here are five examples of what an engaged teen can look like:

The Overinvolved Teen 

From an attendance perspective, this teen might not seem so involved. They miss most events as they are involved in many extracurriculars. They participate in sports, serve as a leader in student groups, play an instrument, take lots of challenging classes, and focus time and energy on college preparation. A new Jewish professional might not know this teen very well at the end of the year.

But, despite this teen’s spotty attendance, they still make an effort to show up. They make time for their Jewish community whenever they can, and it’s obvious that they light up while there. When they can show up, they are engaged with Jewish content, or off having side conversations with their friends they haven’t seen in forever (and building Jewish community in the process). 

The Teen with Focused Interests

This teen might not be involved in many different Jewish activities, but flourishes in the one area they are deeply committed to. This is the teen, for example, who loves children and teaching, so will always be the first to apply to be a camp counselor or teaching assistant. You might not see them at weekend retreats, teen school, or youth group events, and that’s okay. They’ve found their passion, and are building community within the program where they find comfort and feel that they belong.

The Teen in Other Jewish Programs

This teen is actively engaged in Jewish life, but is not often seen inside the walls of your building or in the virtual programming your organization offers. They are actively involved in a local youth movement, live for Jewish summer camp, or have found a special program that allows them to engage in Jewish life in a way that your local program isn’t set up for. At the end of the day, the fact that this teen is honoring their path can, and, should count as successful engagement. 

The Social Teen

As a youth professional, this teen might sometimes test your patience. Seemingly they will not listen to you or pay attention to content, and sometimes distracts their peers. They might not want to participate in t’fillah or engage with the deep and thoughtful programming you’ve spent so much time and energy preparing. And yet, they show up to everything! My rabbi once said something and I understood it to mean “you might not love every part of Judaism, but figure out what you do connect to and make it yours.” And for this teen, the Jewish community is what they’re connecting to. 

The “Poster Child” Teen Leader

This teen is involved in everything and wants to be a leader in everything too. They are the ones pegged as the future rabbis, youth directors, or active Jewish lay leaders. They put themselves out there to lead and are often called upon to be a spokesperson for their peers. Often, Jewish teen programming is at the top of their priority list and it is important to honor this while still understanding that this teen is free to grow, change, and explore their identity in new ways. 

Each of the five teens above, and the many others out there, play an important role in the sacred communities that we build. No one type is inherently better than another, and even with the examples above, we know that none fit neatly into such specific boxes. 

What is beautiful to me about Jewish teen programming and engagement is that there is choice involved. Teens are there because they want to be there. In a world where teenagers face so much pressure and feel like they have to become superheroes to stay “on track,” these teens are choosing to participate in Jewish programming. So, instead of worrying about numbers, or if each teen is doing “enough,” let’s celebrate our teens who are making the choice to participate in the Jewish community, work to make their experiences meaningful, and create spaces of belonging in which they can thrive.

Sophie Grossman is the Youth Director at Temple Isaiah in Lafayette CA. Sophie grew up at Temple Isaiah and knows firsthand how powerful Jewish teen communities can be.  As an aspiring “professional community builder,” she believes that at the root of everything is people having communities where they feel safe and like they belong. 

Rethinking Shabbat’s Meaning During COVID-19

By: Alex Bennett, JBridge Intern

“And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because on it God ceased from all the work of creation that He had done.”- Genesis 2:3

Shabbat is one of the oldest and most sacred rituals in Jewish tradition, a day marking the intentional separation between work and relaxation. For generations Jews have gathered in the houses of loved ones and attended synagogue in observance of the day of rest. Dancing, singing, and studying amongst the community are staples of Shabbat joy. Yet in the world ravaged by COVID-19, these practices are no longer safe.

So how do we commemorate the day of rest in a time where the line between week and weekend has become so blurred? How can we celebrate Shabbat with a new understanding and respect for what it represents?

Amidst this global pandemic, the symbols present in Shabbat rituals achieve new levels of importance. The concepts of zachor (to remember) and shamor (to observe), traditionally linked to the two Shabbat candles, prompt us to reflect. Blessings over the children call for protection from the virus, while wine offers a moment of celebration after another week in quarantine. Finally, the braided challah reminds us of the intertwining roles we play in keeping our community safe from the pandemic.

I often find myself looking back at what life was like before COVID-19. I long for the day when things will be safe and I will be able to hug my friends again. But being stuck in this mindset of “what used to be” prevents me from truly being able to appreciate what I have now. More specifically, it prevents me from being able to cherish the sanctity of Shabbat.

Today, zachor prompts us to remember our past experiences, but not long for them. We observe Shabbat in this new, strange world and take time to recognize that we are in a moment of change. Since our perception of time has been altered while in quarantine, the intention behind our approach to Shabbat has become even more important.

We need to take extra time to center ourselves in this new reality, create a purposeful day of rest, and allow ourselves to find joy in the new meaning Shabbat symbols have taken on. These steps will provide us with the structure and clarity we need in such an unpredictable time.

As Abraham Joshua Heschel pointed out in his book The Sabbath, Shabbat was the first and only thing God deemed holy during the seven days of creation. Heschel emphasizes the importance of time in Judaism and how no two moments are the same. In this light, we must look at each Shabbat as something new. A time of reflection on the things we have learned, and a time for distinction between that which is holy and unholy.

Watching for the Signs: How Do I Know if My Teen is in Crisis?

By: Debra Sagan Massey, Senior Educator, Jewish LearningWorks

This was not how my teenage son envisioned he would be spending his sophomore year in high school. Developmentally, this is the time adolescents pull away from their parents – a time to develop who they are and what they believe.  They should be out of the house, meeting new people and gaining their own perspectives on the world around them.

But COVID-19 has certainly changed all that. Now our teens are home with their parents and reduced to seeing their friends on Zoom boxes. Rituals and milestones that they were looking forward to are no longer on the horizon. Add in the destructive effects of climate change, repeated cases of racial injustices and the vicious slurs of presidential candidates, and life can seem pretty bleak. How do we know if our teens are “just bummed” or if they need more support to navigate today’s challenging world?

Youth Mental Health First Aid is a course that is being taught around the world to give individuals the tools to recognize and respond to the signs and symptoms of a teen experiencing a mental health crisis. This course uses the acronym “ALGEE” as a tool to help participants remember the action plan when supporting a teen. Here are the various steps, and how you can use them with the teens in your life: 

  • Approach, Assess for the risk of suicide or harm and Assist — Our first step is to make sure the teen is safe from harm. If you are concerned for their safety, we want to get professional help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741. If there is no immediate danger, show the teen you care. Connect with the teen, let them know you are there for them and available to talk whenever ready. Simply saying, “I have noticed you seem upset lately. Do you want to talk about it?” can be the doorway that a teen needs to share with you so you can help support them.
  • Listen non-judgmentally — Once a teen feels comfortable opening up to you, give them the space to do so freely. Listening non-judgmentally can help the youth to feel heard, understood and acknowledged. Offer verbal and nonverbal cues that show the teen you have heard them, such as nodding your head, making eye contact, leaning in and creating silence. You can also use verbal cues, such as “ahh” or “hmm” and even asking, “How long have you been feeling like that?”
  • Give Reassurance and Information — This step is sometimes thought of as “giving hope with facts.” Just like when we have broken a bone, we are given steps to healing such as rest, cast, and physical therapy, so too someone with a mental health challenge can use the encouragement in words such as, “Many people who have experienced x feel sad and overwhelmed, but I want you to know you are not alone in this. There are steps we can take to help you feel better.” Your reassurance is essential in helping to convey to the teen that recovery is possible.
  • Encourage Appropriate Professional Help — When you suspect a youth is experiencing a mental health challenge, it is important to seek appropriate profesional help early. There are many types of professionals who can support teens with a mental health challenge such as pediatricians, social workers, counselors and therapists. Offer to help connect the teen to a professional, and remain patient and open. An idea that is rejected by a teen today may seem much more helpful tomorrow.
  • Encourage Self-Help and other Support Strategies — There are a wide variety of self-help and coping strategies that are effective with teens. There are programs such as support groups, book clubs, volunteering programs and art classes. Encourage teens to think of the things that give them joy- exercise, yoga, journaling, sports and hobbies. Mindfulness and meditation practices are life-long skills that can be integrated into daily routine. Encourage the teen to identify what works for them and help support them in those practices.

As a trainer for Youth Mental Health First Aid, I keep this action plan in my “back pocket” all the time. I’m listening and watching for signs that my kids, my friends, and my family might be in crisis. These times are challenging and everyone is experiencing difficulties. As adults who work with teens or have teens in our homes, we need to have our eyes open to what is “outside of normal teenage behavior.” 
The Bay Area Jewish Teen Education and Engagement Initiative wants to enable all adults who interface with teens, whether that is at home, in the neighborhood or at work, to become certified in Youth Mental Health First Aid. The training has now moved online, and is available to anyone in our community for $36. Our next training is March 3, 2021; registration is online and can be found here.

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Design and construction teams thoroughly evaluating all elements of a project before ever issuing bid documents or breaking ground saves a lot of time, money, and re-work. In addition, issues are resolved well before they become expensive problems that delay other activities.

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Design and construction teams thoroughly evaluating all elements of a project before ever issuing bid documents or breaking ground saves a lot of time, money, and re-work. In addition, issues are resolved well before they become expensive problems that delay other activities.

JupiterX develops innovative solutions to build critical infrastructure and landmark projects.

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Design and construction teams thoroughly evaluating all elements of a project before ever issuing bid documents or breaking ground saves a lot of time, money, and re-work. In addition, issues are resolved well before they become expensive problems that delay other activities.

JupiterX develops innovative solutions to build critical infrastructure and landmark projects.

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North Coast Tunnel

our portfolio

Liege Bridge Construction

Design and construction teams thoroughly evaluating all elements of a project before ever issuing bid documents or breaking ground saves a lot of time, money, and re-work. In addition, issues are resolved well before they become expensive problems that delay other activities.

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location

muncie, indiana

project sector

hospital

project owner

amerika hospital

size

22,000

Design and construction teams thoroughly evaluating all elements of a project before ever issuing bid documents or breaking ground saves a lot of time, money, and re-work. In addition, issues are resolved well before they become expensive problems that delay other activities.

JupiterX develops innovative solutions to build critical infrastructure and landmark projects.

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Project Owner What Say Us

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Bruce Butler

Ceo of Americana Hospital

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Liege Bridge Construction

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We are at your service since 1930 with robust infrastructure carrying the future

get started